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Oh yes, there will be blood.

Mar. 8th, 2006 | 02:24 pm
mood: excited excited
music: The Luckiest - Ben Folds Five

Why hello there my darlings! Long time no see. As most of you know, myspace was down yesterday. So I really didn't have anything better to do, so I thought I would come back to livejournal a bit. 
Nothing really knew happening in my life right now.
I'm in love with Rick Manilla..
Umm, I finally got a new job...Oh yeah, Sears. 
I miss Gabrielle very much, she is still away in Spain.
I'm apply to colleges..I'm not going too far, I would miss my friends and family dearly.
Prom is coming up, I look beautiful in my straight black dress. Oh!
Pretty much I'm fucking happy. So, don't fuck up my christmas.
Well..I'm off to go hang out with Lizzy and Kevin. 

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Subjectless.

Jan. 9th, 2006 | 02:27 am
mood: ecstatic ecstatic
music: O-Zone - Numa Numa!!

Though there has been shit...and hell, I'm content.

He makes me smile, laugh, think,...he makes me happy.
When I fall..I fall hard...I pretty much just broke both my legs.
...Is it wrong that I've moved on so fast? ..Let's go with no.
<3 Muah!

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Nothing hurts. Nothings right. I am nothing.

Nov. 15th, 2005 | 03:43 pm
mood: distressed distressed
music: Seether - Pig

It's here I have never been.
I walked far up the hill to come here,
To find a place to stop.
To think.
To find peace.
To mourn.
The silver gate is open,
as always.
I place my feet inside and walk down the short path.
Tall trees shadow my small being.
I am so small.
I am nothing.
The path comes to an end.
A fork in the road.
In the middle lies a big rock.
I stand before it.
I hear them.
I hear them cry.
I hear them disintegrate to nothing.
Their faces have no names.
But I know who they are.
I know who they were.
A mother, father, daughter, son, brother, sister, grandfather, grandmother.
A doctor, teacher, store owner, prostitute.
I take a right, to walk.
A circle of trees surround a big open area of nothing.
I continue up the road.
I breathe in the fresh air.
It's so perfect here.
So cold out there.
I take paper, and charcoal.
I throw my sketchpad to the ground.
I trace their gravestones.
I look around and see many gravestones have small rocks
sitting upon them.
I have respect for them.
I walk around for a bit.
I pick up my sketchpad,
and carry on.
I walk down that small path again.
The air gets cold.
I can smell the anger of this world.
I feel it's hatred.
"Nothing hurts. Nothings right. I am nothing."

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Don't hold your love over my head.

Oct. 28th, 2005 | 10:07 am
mood: sleepy sleepy
music: John Mayer - Come back to bed

I thought all pain and hurt was swept away into the sea of nothing.
For I am wrong.
Your absence makes me weak, and your ignorance makes me bleed just a little more than before.
See how I look down upon myself when I am captured in my-self prison.
In my dark cell where there is no hope for a bright tomorrow.
All my mistakes rush fast through my mind.
What have I done?
When I am alone here, in search of peace,
all I hear are the screams of the ones who keep me away from you.
Why do I protect you? Here I am longing to be the in the arms
of the one who stops my tears.
But all along you were the one who made the tears flow from me.
I can't let this go.
Too late.
Let me bleed.
Let me be, in my misery.

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